Habits That Can Ruin Your Relationship

Not Making Time

Spending quality time with your partner is very important. It helps the relationship grow stronger and helps in solidifying your bond. In long-term relationships, more often than not people forget to spend quality time together. Just because you live together, that does not mean it automatically counts as spending time together. Be intentional about allocating quality time to spend with your partner. It can be weekly date nights, monthly weekend trips, and spending at least 15 minutes before bed together. If you don’t make quality time to spend with your partner, this can ruin your relationship.

Criticizing Family Members

This is a sensitive topic for most people, after all, blood is thicker than water. If you don’t get along with your partners’ family members and friends, you have to be strategic about approaching the subject. Constantly criticizing their family members and making negative comments about them might make your partner feel attacked. Instead, just explain things from your perspective. For example, say I did not like how so and so treated me. I don’t think it was very nice. As opposed to criticizing and making negative comments. If your partner is understanding, they will understand it from your perspective.

RELATED: Signs of a toxic family member

Unrealistic Expectations

While in a relationship there are certain standards and expectations that should always prevail. Like respect, intimacy, affection, communication among others. However, one of the habits that can ruin your relationship is having unrealistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations like wanting your partner to change for you or to feel and react the same way you do. Our expectations are based on our own standards and you can’t expect your partner to match the same standards. Talk to your partner to resolve your mismatched expectations in order to have a healthy relationship.

Comparing Your Partner

If you’re constantly comparing your partner to your ex or to the people in your life, this could harm your relationship. It makes your partner feel like they’ll never be good enough for you. Appreciating your partner for who they are is extremely important in a relationship. Instead, you can try and encourage your partner to improve who they are as opposed to comparing.

Not Showing Appreciation

Appreciating your partner is very essential in a relationship. It makes your partner feel seen and gives them a sense of importance in the relationship. Depending on your partners’ love language there are several ways you can make your partner feel appreciated. It could be a nice surprise dinner, a text saying how much you appreciate them. Small gestures go a long way when it comes to appreciating your partner. It shows how mindful you are of them. If you don’t appreciate your partner enough they may start to feel like you don’t need them in the relationship.

Joking at Your Partners’ Expense

While in a relationship, your partner is someone you feel comfortable with your insecurities. Joking at your partners’ expense might take that away from them. While you may not joke about their insecurities, it makes it harder for them to feel safe with their insecurities when you’re around. When you’re alone it’s fine to joke about some things but in public, it changes the dynamic.

Boundaries

A healthy relationship has healthy boundaries. You have to set boundaries about your personal items like your phone, your space. You can love your partner and not spend all your time together. Boundaries help you respect the privacy and space of your partner. It means not going through their phone when they’re not around and not snooping on their things.

Screentime

If you’re always on your phone or laptop even when your partner is talking to you, this can cause a strain in your relationship. It shows your partner that they are not a priority. Manage your screen time to improve the quality of your relationships. Select a certain timeframe when you will not be on your phone to spend with your partner. Always being on your phone might make your partner feel like they’re not a priority in your life.

Always Putting Work First

In this digital era and the pandemic, working from home has become a part of our reality. It has become even harder to balance work and family. If you’re always working even when your hours are over, it will cause a strain on your relationship. Find a way of balancing your work and your personal life. Putting work first makes your partner feel like they come second after your job.

Keeping Score

If you don’t fight fair in your relationship by bringing up things that happened earlier on in your relationship, you’re ruining your relationship. Keeping score can cause resentment and eventually end your relationship. Learn how to forgive, forget, and let go in your relationship. Instead of keeping score advise your partner how they can improve to avoid making the same mistakes over and over.

Passive-aggressive

If you’re passive-aggressive when it comes to communicating with your partner, it could kill your relationship. Communicate openly with your partner in a relationship and say exactly how you feel. Being passive-aggressive is unfair to your partner and is irritating, just say what’s on your mind.

Bottling up Your Feelings

If you don’t talk about your feelings for one reason or the other it could harm your relationship. Not talking about how you feel will strain your relationship because you’re bound to explode eventually. Bottling up your feelings also causes resentment in the long run.