Common Relationship Red Flags

by Lynn
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12 Common Relationship Red Flags

There are certain relationship flags that you can’t ignore in a relationship. At times the feelings you have for your partner might overshadow how you see the red flags. Knowing the common relationship red flags is very important so as to avoid situations like these. There are multiple toxic relationship red flags that point to a strenuous relationship.

Here are some of the common relationship red flags you should look out for;

Love bombing

This is one of the biggest relationship flags. This is emotional manipulation which is among the worst kind. When the relationship starts out they give you attention, praise, flattery gifts, and attention among other things. This is to make you feel like you’re obligated to them in some type of way. This is one of the cruelest relationship red flags. It makes you feel special and loved. Things may even seem to be too good to be true when the relationship is starting out. People lovebomb with the intention of eventually being able to control you.

A perfect example of this is the Tinder Swindler on Netflix. They will make you fall for them and then they start pulling away leaving you broken-hearted. Love bombing is associated with gaslighting and emotional manipulation. If your new partner buys expensive gifts, or showers you with attention in a short period of time, proceed with caution.


Gaslighting is a kind of emotional abuse where a person makes somebody question their sanity, assumption of reality, or memories. It is a kind of psychological control used in relationships in order to keep control over one more person. Most people experiencing gaslighting usually really feel overwhelmed, distressed, as well as not able to trust themselves. You can read all the signs of gaslighting here.

RELATED: Gaslighting: Everything you need to know


If you’re to have a great and fun relationship, you need to have conversations. Both deep conversations and light conversations. If you can only have light conversations and small talk, this is one of the common relationship red flags. If you’re in a relationship with someone you need to be able to do both. Having deep conversations is essential in every relationship.

You also don’t want a relationship where the conversation is one-sided. If all your partner does is talk about themselves, and don’t give you any time to express yourself, red flag. Then again you don’t want a partner who is dependent on you to start the conversations, this can be emotionally draining. There needs to be a balance in your conversations.

Too Controlling & Jealous

Another one of the common relationship flags is jealousy and controlling behavior. When the relationship is starting out the jealousy can manifest itself as caring and paying attention. However, with time they just start getting jealous about the time you spend with other people, the people you work with and so much more. More often than not, jealousy leads to controlling behavior. Your partner wants to know where you are all the time, who you’re with, why you’re with them and so many details. It might even get to a point where your partner wants to control what you do online, your money, and even what you wear. If you have such a relationship, it may be time to rethink and reevaluate.

RELATED: How to break up with someone: The right way


Every great and functioning relationship has great communication between the partners. Communication is key if a relationship is to work out. If you’re in a relationship where you can’t openly communicate with your partner, it’s a big problem. A healthy relationship allows you to express yourself no matter what. If you feel like you have to shrink yourself just to talk to your partner, this is a red flag. When your partner is passive-aggressive, it can be frustrating as well. You need someone who is able to tell you what they feel upfront. A partner who also does not communicate at all is a red flag. You deserve someone who will respond to your messages.

No Compromise

People are different, in a relationship, there will come a time when you disagree or have a different approach. In a healthy relationship, there should be a compromise from both parties. If your partner does not like compromising even on the little things, you might want to reevaluate your relationship. This means that you will be the one over-compromising which is not healthy and you might lose yourself in the process. If it’s their way or the highway kind of situation…………..You have to consider each others’ needs in a relationship.


If your partner lies frequently, this is not a good sign. There are those white lies everyone tells however if your partner lies a lot, this is a red flag. If your partner is frequently dishonest, this could make it hard to trust your partner and even ruin the chances of a great relationship. When you identify your partner as a pathological liar, proceed with caution.


A relationship with no trust is like a car with no gas, yo can stay in it, but it won’t go anywhere.

Trust is a two-way street in a relationship. You need to trust your partner and they need to trust you as well. If you’re in a relationship where you both don’t trust each other, this is an unhealthy relationship. When your partner does not trust you, it might make you feel smothered. This is because your partner will keep asking where you are, with who making you feel stifled in your relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, you’re constantly worried and making up scenarios in your head. This could lead to stress and even depression. If there’s no trust in the relationship, start reevaluating it.

Co Dependence

In a relationship, you need to have a sense of self, independent activities and hobbies from your partner. If you’re always spending time with your partner, this is a sign of unhealthy codependence. You need lives outside of your relationship. If you have a partner with no hobbies, no goals, career and no ambition, it’s a definite red flag. You need to be with someone who can hold their own and have things they do outside of your relationship. Being independent can even increase the quality of your relationship.

Constant Undermining

A partner who constantly undermines you is a big red flag. Your partner should support you in all that you do and give you constructive criticism when you need it. However, a partner who makes you feel like you’re not enough can be depressing. This can affect your self esteem in the long run. You need a supportive partner who will not constantly put you down at every turn.

Friends & Family Don’t Like Your Partner

Your friends and family usually have a sense of recognizing these things. If all your friends and family don’t like your partner for a similar reason, they’re seeing something that you’re not. They know you better than anyone and can immediately sense a change in you when it happens. This could be a sign to start reevaluating your relationship.

Different Relationship Goals

This is one of the common relationship red flags. If you have different relationship goals, you should proceed with caution. From the get go you should know if you’re in an exclusive relationship. If your partner starts saying things like I never want to have kids and this is something you envision for yourself. Just leave the relationship, stop staying in it hoping to change their mind. Always make sure you’re on the same page and you have similar relationship goals.

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