What to do after a breakup – Tips that will help you move on quickly

by Lynn

So what to do after a breakup? Breakups are dreadful, they cause confusion, heartbreak, insecurity and all this complicated feelings. No matter who ends the relationship there’s a sense of failure that comes from an unsuccessful relationship. We get into relationships with the fairy tale view of living happily ever after. This is why breakups can be so nerve wracking. So how do you handle things after a breakup? Here’s what to do after a breakup

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Cut off all communication

Whatever you do or however you feel, do not text, call or make any sort of communication with your ex. Cut all ties with your ex as a way of self care. Nothing good comes from contacting your ex. You might get back together and it was probably a toxic relationship. It might end up hurting you more than you already are. This should be on your top list of what to do after a breakup. Delete your ex’s contact if you have to. You don’t want to be drunk dialing or texting them. This is easier said than done, you will need some sort of activity to keep you busy and distracted to avoid any contact.

Grieve

Allow yourself to grieve, cry and hurt. Whichever way you prefer to let go of the pain, cry a river, scream your lungs out. Breakups are horrible because they hurt. We all know how it goes the tight throat, how the heart literally drops in your chest, your breathing gets labored. Do not dismiss this part of the breakup. This will help you heal and grow from that relationship. Listen to all the sad songs in the world. This might take a while, but once it’s done you’ll be surprised at how over your ex you’ll be. Bottling up your feelings will cause more damage than good. Bottling up your feelings doesn’t mean you’re stronger, it just means that you’re not facing reality. The one thing you can’t do is escape your feelings, so grieve.

Clean up your space

Depending on how serious your relationship was, you must have some of your ex’s items and personal belongings in your house. Pack them up. If they left a toothbrush, clothes or even photographs of you together pack them in a box so you don’t see them. If you want to give them back use a mutual friend, don’t contact them directly. You can donate them at a later date if your ex fails to claim them. Remember not to communicate with your ex no matter what. Cleaning up your space is therapeutic. It should be among your top priority on what to do after a breakup.

If you were living together it’s a bit more complicated. If you can live with a friend or family until you find a place of your own. You don’t want to be in a space that causes so much pain. You also don’t want to be in the same space with your ex. This could lead to bad decisions.

Make a breakup playlist.

Use music to ground you and to soothe you. Music is known to have a huge effect when it comes to mood. You can have two types of playlists a sad song playlist and a “ I don’t need you” type of playlist. Try Adelle music on your sad playlist and Lizzo in your other playlist. In some cases, sad music has a way of making you feel better.

Social Media Detox

Take a break from social media. This will help you avoid going down a rabbit hole of stalking your ex, we’ve all been there. Unfriend and unfollow your ex, this will help you avoid the temptation of making contact. You also don’t want to be on social media seeing perfect couples all happy. This will get into your head. Take a break from social media altogether. Go off the grid.

Self-care

Have a daily self care routine if you don’t already have one. This will help put things into perspective for you and it will ensure you put yourself first. Self care will help nurture you. You’ll process your feelings much better. Practice self care by trying out meditation, exercise, yoga, journaling, taking walks or whatever works for you. This will help a great deal when it comes to getting over your ex. Having a self care routine will also help you avoid stress eating or drinking. Occasionally it’s okay to indulge in comfort food and a bottle of wine.

Support System

Lean back on your support system. Your best friend, sister, mom or even therapist. You don’t have to go through a tough breakup on your own. If your partner was your support system, it might be tough to move on but you must regardless. Talk it out with someone close to you. This will help ease the pain that comes with a break up. Go out on a girls night or have a girls night in.

Focus on other relationships

Sometimes when you get into a new relationship it can be hard to juggle all your friendships. We tend to focus more on the new relationship and sideline our friends. It can be unintentional and it’s a mistake we’ve all made at some point. Now that you’re not in a relationship take time and rekindle your friendships. Spend more time with your family and friends and show them that you appreciate them.

Explore

It’s very easy to loose touch with reality after a breakup. You want to be snuggled up by yourself listening to sad songs, watching breakup movies while drinking wine. While this may be therapeutic you need to get out. Explore your options, go out drinking with friends, go for those family dinners you’ve been missing out, go network at work events. This will help you get out of your shell and rediscover yourself.

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Hobby

Keep yourself busy by picking up a new hobby. Learn or do something you’ve always wanted to do but never had the time. Don’t just sit around and cry over your ex. It might be tough at first but with time you’ll get the hang of it. Exploring and spending time with your friends is a great way of distracting yourself but you also need the ability to distract yourself. And what better way than to pick up a new hobby.

Enjoy being single

There’s a common misconception that in order to get over someone you need to get under someone. Enjoy being single, do everything you’ve always wanted to do. Don’t mask your feelings by dating someone new. Be single and enjoy it while it lasts. Find yourself. Spending time in a relationship can make you lose yourself because of compromising. It’s easy to lose sight of your favorite things. Use this time to rediscover yourself.

Forgive

When it comes to what to do after a breakup, forgiveness is very vital. Forgive your ex and more importantly forgive yourself. Forgive for your peace of mind and to avoid all the bitterness.

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