22 Reasons why you don’t want to have sex

by Lynn
0 comment

Sometimes you may not have a reason why you don’t want to have sex. At times, no matter how hard you try you’re just not in the mood. To some extent it’s okay but if you’ve been turning down sex on the regular you may want to know if there’s something affecting your sex drive.

There are many different reasons why you don’t want to have sex:

Birth Control

Isn’t it ironic? The same birth control you’re taking for carefree sex could also be the reason why you don’t want to have sex. Because of the hormones present in birth control especially pills. If you notice a difference in your sexual drive after taking birth control you should probably visit the doctor. There are other non-hormonal birth control options you can choose from.

RELATED: 10 common health mistakes women make after sex


Motherhood is tough, you’re always tired, stressed out, you have no time to yourself and you may not feel sexy. After having a child it’s also totally understandable to lose sexual interest. Motherhood can be exhausting which could be the reason why you don’t want to have sex anymore.

You have less time to be a couple and do fun things instead you’re dealing with diapers and sleeping patterns. You’re constantly caring for other people but yourself. You can try and have a few nights where you have someone take care of your household needs so you can rest. When you’re well-rested, plan for date night. This might just boost your sex drive.


Pregnancy affects women in different ways. Some women may have a higher sex drive others a reduced sex drive and even in some instances, some women don’t like to be touched. So the pregnancy hormones might be why you don’t want to have sex.

Longterm relationship

Long term relationships come with a sense of security and predictability. While this may be great it can also affect your sex life. Most relationships go through this phase. At first, things are all exciting, fun, and amazing but after some time the hype goes down. This can contribute to why you don’t want to have sex.

If you want to revive the spark in your relationship you can start teasing by sending your partner sexts, or suggestive selfies just to heat things up. You can also try new sex styles and see where that goes.


It’s hard to get in the mood when you’re stressed out. You could have a lot of things going on in your life. Stress could be one of the reasons why you don’t want to have sex. It could be financially related, family related or even job related. When you’re not mentally at peace it could be hard to heat things up in the bedroom.

You can try affirmations and meditation so you can tackle your stress head-on. Meditation will help relieve stress over time.


If sex is painful for you, this could be the reason why you don’t want to have sex. Because who wants to engage in something that brings them pain and discomfort. Sex should not be painful, it should be the complete opposite, it should always be a pleasure. If you’re in pain, it could be related to a medical condition and you should consult a doctor. It could also be that there’s no foreplay before sex. If lubrication and foreplay don’t do the trick. Visit the doctor.


When your life is boring, sex becomes boring. If your life is stuck in a rut so will your sex life. When all you do is cook, clean, watch TV, go to work and repeat you need to look for more exciting things to do. Sex is great at the beginning of relationships because everything is so new and fun.

You can get your groove back on by trying out new things, going on adventures with your partner. Plan a weekend getaway or a staycation.

Body Image

If you’re sensitive about your body, it may be subconsciously why you don’t want to have sex. If you feel good about your body you’re more likely to be open to sexual activities. Your partner is probably okay with your weight but if you’re fixated on your body, you might want to hit the gym or watch your diet.


If you’re depressed you’re more likely to have a low libido. If you’re depressed this might be why you don’t want to have sex. When you’re suffering from depression you might want to start exercising and meditating to ease depression. This is with approval from your doctor. If you’re on antidepressants consult with your doctor if they affect sex drive.


If you have anxiety, this can cause low libido and can be why you don’t want to have sex. You should start practicing mindful meditation and affirmations to help keep your anxiety in check.

Cultural Background

Based on how you were raised and cultural beliefs, some people are taught that sex is a sin and is only for procreation. This could affect your sexual views and in turn your sexual desire. If you grew up knowing sex is shameful. You can learn how to be more open-minded towards sex without necessarily inflicting on your values.


If you’re exhausted, the last thing you want to do is have sex. If you’re constantly exhausted, this is why you don’t want to have sex. Get some shut-eye, exercise, and drink plenty of water. This should help you. If you’re still exhausted, you might want to take it slow with the number of activities you’re doing or get a couple of days off.


Most women have experienced vaginal dryness. It is not necessarily tied to a medical condition. It could be tied to birth control, lack of foreplay, or even cold allergy medicine. You can consult a doctor you have a concern.

Digital Distractions

In this digital era, there are smartphones, TVs, and laptops that keep us distracted for a better part of the day. In a lot of relationships, there are a lot of technology-related conflicts and can in turn affect sex drive. You need to turn off the technology to turn on the groove in the bedroom.

Low Libido

Sometimes the reason you don’t want to have sex is because you’re genuinely not in the mood. You may have low libido. You can try some natural methods of boosting your libido but if they are not fruitful. Visit the doctor for more information on the same.

RELATED: 10 Foods that boost sex drive


If you have a relationship conflict with your partner it could contribute to why you don’t want to have sex. For some couples, conflict does not affect their sexual desire, if anything it increases it. Get to the root of the problem and solve your issues if you want to have increased sexual desire. Tension in the relationship can cause low sexual desire.


If every time you have sex you don’t orgasm, it could be a reason why you don’t want to have sex. While it’s common for women not to orgasm, it should not be an excuse. It could also be that you don’t know what you want, you don’t know your body. You can take charge by exploring your body and what turns you on.


If you’re unwell, sex is the last thing on your mind. You just want to focus on your health and get better. Some sicknesses can also be why you don’t want to have sex i.e. any sickness that is hormone-related or blood vessel-related. If you’re unwell visit the doctor for further advice on the same.


Medication might just be the reason why you don’t want to have sex. There are certain medications i.e. some anti-depressants, antibiotics, and other types of medication that are known to lower libido.


If you take alcohol, go slow on the alcohol. You may relax at first but you have to be careful not to be too relaxed to an extent you’re not responsive to touch.

New Sexual Preferences

Your sexual preferences may change over time. You may get bored with the old things you used to do and you may want to try new things over time. Always communicate to your partner what you may want to try out and the things you’re over.

Change in Sexual Orientation

This can come in as a shock but you might want to analyze who you’re really attracted to. You may have jumped ship.

Pin it for later

That Girl Everyday 22 Reasons why you don't want to have sex

Donation for Author

Buy author a coffee

You may also like

Leave a Comment