How to break up with someone: The right way

by Lynn
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How to break up the right way

Breaking up is not easy, whether you’re the one dumping or being dumped. However, breaking up is necessary when you and your partner are no longer moving forward in that relationship. The worst thing you can do is drag a relationship out knowing it won’t lead anywhere. The best thing you can do is letting them go. If you want to break up with someone there’s a right way to do it to ensure you don’t leave the other party scarred. Breaking up with someone solely depends on the context of the relationship. Every relationship is unique and might require different breakup techniques.

Here are some tips on how to break up with someone the right way;

Make sure it’s what you want

Before you embark on this dreadful journey, make sure you truly want to end the relationship. Breaking up with someone is something you want to do after you have tried fixing the relationship but your efforts have been futile. You don’t want to break up with someone the minute you start having issues. Talk things out with your partner when you start having issues and see if you can work it out. Breaking up with someone out of the blue can be very disorienting to the other party and can cause emotional damage. Before deciding to break up with someone make sure it’s what you want. If you’re just not compatible with your partner and you want to break up without trying to make it work. Make sure your partner knows exactly why you want to end it so abruptly.

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Think about the conversation

After deciding you want to break up with your partner, give yourself time and space to think about what you will say when you actually break up. This is a stressful conversation to have for anyone unless you’re just really over your partner. It might be very confusing because as humans we are wired to be compassionate. Think about why you want to break up and why breaking up is for the best and write it down. Writing things down will make sure you communicate what you feel. Plan what you want to say beforehand. Maintain a neutral tone and do not offer any emotional support.

Be ready for any reaction

When it comes to how to break up with someone, the one thing you can’t do is control the other persons’ reaction. There’s no way of knowing how your partner will react. You should be prepared for any reaction, they could get angry, relieved, or emotional. If they react in an angry way you will want to maintain your cool as opposed to raising your voice as well. If they get abusive, you will want to end the conversation immediately and emphasize that you’re still broken up. Do not accept being manipulated by them, always refer to the conversation you planned out. When people are emotional they can easily manipulate you into changing your mind.

It’s ok to breakup

Do not compromise because you’re afraid of hurting your partners’ feelings. Always remember that it’s okay to break up. Your happiness is all that should matter. If the relationship is not working out for you, you don’t have to break your back trying to make it work. It does not matter if you’ve been together 3 months, 5 years, or even 12 years. You deserve to be happy and to be in a happy relationship. Do not feel guilty about breaking up with someone.

Pick an appropriate setting

When you’re preparing to have the breakup conversation, you want to pick an appropriate setting. Depending on the context of your relationship, you might want to do it in a private place or in a secluded area. If you’re worried about what your partner might do or how they will react, choose a public secluded area. You can choose a restaurant with a relaxing ambiance. This will make sure you’re not distracted by the noise and people. If it’s possible you will want to pick a place where you both feel safe to break the news. You will want your partner to express themselves without feeling limited based on the setting you pick. If you don’t feel safe meeting your partner, you can just text them or make a call. Remember your safety comes first.

Be concise

When going through with a breakup, you want to be as concise and as direct as possible. Do not mince your words. You might be tempted to soften the blow and make them feel better but don’t. Be very honest about the breakup, do not give them hope that the relationship can be salvaged.

Don’t Be Their Support System

It might be painful to see someone hurting because of the things you said, so you might want to naturally comfort them. Do not offer to be their support system. If you offer to be the support system you’re doing them more harm than good. You will want to completely remove yourself from the equation.

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