Why we lose friends as we grow older

by Lynn
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As you grow older your circle of friends starts becoming smaller and smaller. There’s a reason Why we lose friends as we grow older. We meet different people at different stages of our lives, some become good friends, some we lose along the way, and some stick. What most people don’t realize is that it’s okay to lose friends who were once very close to you, it’s just a part of life. It may be frustrating when you lose a friend but sometimes it may be for the better. Depending on how close you were, a friendship breakup hurts more than an actual romantic breakup, because we expect friends to be in our lives for good, we don’t make friends expecting us to lose them along the way. 

Losing friends is a bitter and hard pill to swallow but you may come to the realization that less is more. You also realize that as you grow older some friendships are just not meant to be. As you grow older you learn to cherish the deep rare connections with the little friends you have. Most people tend to lose friends in their mid and late 20’s because that’s when you really start evaluating your life goals and your ambitions. Here are a few reasons why we lose friends along the way: 

Growing Apart 

This is one of the most common reasons why we lose friends as we grow older. As you grow older you start new chapters in your life, you start realizing what is important to you. Your friends also start new chapters and this may not necessarily align with your friends so you tend to slowly grow apart. It may be hard at first but as you grow older you’ll be glad you outgrew some friends.  

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Quality over quantity 

In high school we all wanted a ton of friends because we thought the more, the happier you are and the more popular you are. As you grow older you prefer to spend quality time with a few friends who challenge you intellectually and who have a deeper authentic connection with you. You start to realize that as you grow older all you need is a ride or die support system, friends who will be there for you no matter what. You will need all the support you can get because life sometimes gets really hard as you grow older. 

Less free time 

This is one of the things that sucks about growing up. You have less free time generally, you no longer can do sleepovers every week, you can’t go out all night every weekend anymore. As you grow older you may go out here and there but most of the time you just want to relax and practice some self-care before the beginning of another hectic workweek. Some people may not understand that you don’t have free time and that’s okay. Once you realize how hard adulting can get you to start cherishing the little time you have with true friends. 


In some cases friends may move across the country and in as much as there’s a lot of technology to support long-distance relationships, it’s just never the same. It sucks but it’s true. Your friends may move to a different area code with a different time zone and keeping up may be difficult and frustrating, to say the least. Sometimes distance does come between a friendship, sure you may stay friends but you’re not as close as you once were. 

Change in priorities 

Our priorities change as we grow older. Some people start focusing on starting a family or start spending more time with their partners. This may not sit well with some friends, they start feeling like they’re being neglected which is not the case. In such cases, you find your friendship shifting and eventually losing them.

RELATED: 10 ways you can set healthy friendship boundaries

Self Awareness 

One of the things that happen when you grow older is you start understanding yourself more and more. You start becoming self-aware, you know what you want and what you don’t want in life. This is how people grow naturally apart. Your interests start becoming different and you realize that there are some friends you just can’t keep because there are some aspects of their lifestyle you can’t stand or they bring too much negativity in your life so you start to grow apart. 


This happens more often than you think. Some people just can’t handle it when other people are more successful than others. So their jealousy starts to show. You don’t need such a friend in your life, you need people who are happy for you no matter what. So once a friend’s jealousy starts showing you simply stop being friends with them because you don’t need that negative energy in your life. 

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